ashton.

I'm just a notch in your head board ..well technically the headboard is mine..and thats fine ..i hope ill never have the misfortune of mistaking the way you hold me after sex as something other then what it is ..a courtesy.

" i dont expect anything from you"

you don't expect anything from me but to stay lovingly by your side why i get nothing in return.. is that what you ment by that?..because it's all i fucking heard...i called you drunk out of my mind tonight to provoke a response..having just made love to another man , thinking maybe i would feel some guilt ..maybe thinking i would feel some amount of sorrow for what we have become..but there was none..your words make me feel less then human..and now it just hurts looking at you and hearing your voice....i really just want you to stay the fuck away from me and fade off into the distance..

if its artificial let it be..

you never loved me and i guess its okay..you were a actor playing the role of a boy in love..speaking to me about feelings you didn't feel..and i don't blame you because i knew the entire time and i fell anyway..i love you ...and im sure i always will...
i believe you saw a women before you that needed love and you did your best to do so..and though you claim that im still all you want..
i refuse to stay and accept what it is you decide to give me ..and yes im dating and im living and i appear to not feel a thing, i feel it all ..i feel the lost everyday.

lost of shimmer

I don't know what were doing ..and  i feel like im becoming this person impossible to love ..

cling to what you know...

we sat so closely on that bench ..we kept bumping into each other..but neither of us moved ..for fear of what that ment.

Me: I'm happy for you , your one step closer to getting what you want...whatever it is that you want..
* pokes my side, rubs my back ..before he holds me in his arms..looks me in the eyes*
Him : I hope so.

thank you.

thank you for proving me wrong tonight..tonight i saw a glimpse of the man i fell in love with ....i don't know what we are ..but i know that we both love each other and your not going anywhere and i guess tonight thats all i need.
"I just need to get myself together..i want you to go out and be happy..see who you want ..Im just gonna focus on what i need done..anyways i only want one girl and thats you "

word for word.

For once my eyes are open to you, and everything you've said.
For once your web of lies is in the open.
I gave you everything I had, until I had nothing left.
Now still you act as if I'm just a burden.
I've finally let go. Let go, let go.

Stay silent at least for now, and let me move on.
'Cause I'm so done playing these games with my heart
I've been around the world and back for you, and now its time to choose.

I've been swallowed by this wreck that you call your life.
I'm damaged from the inside. I've been broken.
Don't threaten me with what you think I feel.
If you could read my mind you'd be in tears.

I'm sick of your excuses you hold above me.
I've finally come to terms with what I am.
I'm nothing in your eyes, and this will not change.
I'm living in a dream.


And I'll close my eyes, and dream of a better time
when I'll be finally past this and I'll be happy on my own.
I've done all I can, and I've still been cast aside.
All I ever wanted to be was be the one who would wipe those tears from your eyes.
But I guess I'll play second best, to a world that will never care about you.
You'll never understand .
You'll tell me that you care, and then run straight back to her.
I can hear your voice of treason from a mile away.

You never did know how to whisper.

You're such a liar. Tell me the truth.
You're such a liar. Tell me the truth.
You're such a liar. Tell me the truth.

you were so true to yourself ..you were true to no one else.

I'm silently waging wars against us my love..

sometimes you don't say the right thing but your lips seem to find mine when they need too..and im not sure if i can give that up.